The Bittersweet Feeling of Leaving Your Homeland

Every time I return to my birthplace, Brazil, I can’t help but feel out of place. I left when I was 13, and even though I’ve been fortunate enough to visit every year, it no longer feels like I truly belong here. Don’t get me wrong — I absolutely love coming back. I am always so thrilled for each visit, cherishing the time spent with family and friends and indulging in the delicious food. Yet, despite all this, I can’t shake the feeling of being a foreigner in my own country.

The familiar sounds of Brazil, from the loud cars, to the trucks constantly selling fruits and foods, and the chatter of the bustling streets, bring back childhood memories, but they don’t ground me like they used to. It’s as if I’m watching a movie of my life in Brazil, a distant observer of a place that shaped me but no longer defines me.

When I visit my old neighborhood, the streets seem narrower, the houses smaller. The school where I once attended and loved, now feels like a reminder of a time when life was simpler and my world was small. The people I once knew have moved on, just as I have. We talk, laugh, share stories of the past, but there’s an unspoken understanding that our lives have drifted, and the connection we once had is now a shadow of what it was.